I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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