It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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