But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
babies were throwing up all over the place
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
