You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
