are you still at the devil's house?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
