I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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