We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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