Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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