Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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