no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
