I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
