I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
