Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize