I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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