dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
