how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
