haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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