mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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