I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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