Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
