Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it was like eating out sand paper
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
