you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
