Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
