Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
