You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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