You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
