They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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