And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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