so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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