drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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