I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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