This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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