all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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