eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
