i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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