I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We talked him into tasing himself.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
