Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
