Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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