I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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