Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
