"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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