p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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