I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
