if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
