Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
