i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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