we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
