Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
