it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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