you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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