The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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