just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
