i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
