I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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