did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
