Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
