dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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